Camping, scheduled for this weekend, has been canceled. Hopefully I can change my schedule again, and I can work Friday night. I had the night off (which wasn't easy to do) but I won't be needing it. This is all pretty lame, but maybe I can try to get my hours back Friday and not miss work for a botched camping trip (again (for the third time)).

Ah, well. These things happen.

late night. late breakfast. late nap. lazy sunday.

im just a salamander, workin' to be a big, strong dinosaur.

never rest in peace

6:03 - I have completed the descent. Safe in my hole, I will take a moment to reflect on today's trappings before opting to rest until a non-disclosed time.

Recap: Patrick was busy, so busy Patrick did not hang out with me as intended. He did go to the gym with me. We did, in fact, get "Swoh" (sp?). I saw a napping Spike. I washed my car and it is now clean. I hung out with Brian, and we played our respective racing games. Beans were eaten cold from the can. Kroger brand spaghetti-ohs were microwaved in old cool-whip tubs. I attended work. After work, Jerriy's. I had the husky supreme and water, and we then played frisbee in the parking lot for a while. Now, I'm here.

6:09 - Pre-bed reflection

I like fall weather. For more on this, see my last blog.

Today I thought about someone. I really miss this person. A whole, whole lot. About this person; They aren't who you think they are. I can almost guarentee this person is pretty much off the radar, at this point. At one time, we were great friends, though. I'm not sure what sort of friends we would be qualified as, but it was wonderful, and I have yet to find something similar. We had a bit of history, and that definately informs our (former) level of friendship. We're probably never going to be as close as we used to be. I wouldn't be surprised if we never really talked again, to be honest. And I know this person will not read this. Even so, I want to use this as a forum to say that I miss them and, if not now, at least at one point (and for a very long time, I think) loved them. Very much.

Sleeping in is the best thing for the weekends. I hope I wake up in the afternoon so that I can listen to the Postal Service and fall back asleep.

Deathcab songs are great. Sometimes I imagine my life is a Deathcab lyric. I get excited in the quietest way possible.

I'm currently looking for a super-real friendship. Apply inside.

These days, I'm either reading homework, playing guitar, looking at car parts, or watching Seseme Street or the Muppet Show.

6:19 - I sleep. Adventures tomorrow.

What's new Scooby Doo...

Is not as good as the real thing.

Saturday Night's Alright for Bloggin'.

It's two thirty in the morning, and I am not happy with how desensitized to the hour I am.

This is about to be soooooo Transient. Buckle up.

I'm looking forward to having something to look forward to. This weekend was a wash, for the most part. I keep looking ahead to my birthday. It's not any closer than a month away. I'll be twenty. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm sort of hoping that this is the birthday that finally makes me feel different. I doubt it.

The leaves are going to start changing soon. By the time I'm comfortable with fall again, it will be Winter. I'm looking forward to Fall. It's my favorite season, hands down. I love fall weather, and fall food, and I have a lot of fall music. I love listening to fall music. The only downside to fall is that it invariably comes with depression. It's not severe or anything. Nothing to worry about. It comes every year. It's just a part of my cycle, I think. It doesn't mean I'm never happy, or I'll become a hermit. It just means I feel things more fully. Every little thing is close to my chest during the fall, which is refreshing sometimes.

I'm listening to Come Now Sleep, somewhat ironically, I must admit.

I have church in the morning. I'm going to think about the same thing I always think about in church. I always wonder if Jesus was real. I know it doesn't make a ton of difference if he was or wasn't. Its the principle that's important. Even so, I have to wonder. If Jesus wasn't real... If the story was fabricated... What does that say about the sacrifice of the individual? Only something so publicly grandiose could matter; could save lives. If Jesus had lain down peacefully in the garden and died from a stroke... If he had passed, face down, from an over-dose... If he were killed in his sleep by a thief... Would I be any less forgiven for the things I am bound to do? Would there be anyone to listen when I try to find forgiveness?

Jessie Lacey hear 'em say, "In Heaven there's no husbands and wives." I never heard that, but I believe it. I wonder if I can have a girlfriend.

These days I listen to a lot of music without words. I think it's because when I hear someone else sing something, I think "Wow. How articulate," but when I write words to a song, I think "Wow. How cliche."

I'm looking for pictures of people to draw. I think four people read this. Maybe four. Either way.


DrivingDrivingDrivingDrivingDrivingDriving. Its 314. Im going to go Drivingdrivingdriving.

The goal: Better than Yesterday.

I am a waffle.

Last Monday Tuesday Wednesday I felt miserable. I wanted to get older faster, and not for any of the cool reasons you would want to get older, like voting, or driving, or drinking. I already do those things. Sometimes, all at once. No. I wanted to get older so I could feel alright about feeling over-worked. Spread too thin. Complacent in life. All these things are easier to deal with when you're older, aren't they? My parents always seemed fairly fine with the idea.

Either way, Thursday was good. Friday was better. Today is Saturday. There are things I want out of my Saturday. Things I hope I'm going to get. I know, with some degree of certainty, that in a couple of hours, I will be grilling burgers and other foods that are okay to eat outside. That will be awesome. I love grilling, and I think I'm starting to get pretty good at it. Also, I will then get to eat those things, almost certainly. These things will be good. I will be with my family, which should be good, but may be just average, or possibly even sub-par. Either way, I plan to make the best of it.

I am certainly certain I will be calling my friend Ryan soon. And I am cautiously certain he will answer the phone, despite the fact that he is currently at work. I will ask him if he wants to hang out after his shift, and I am optimistically certain that he will say "yes". This would certainly make me happy. Today is Saturday. For now, life has such great potential to be phenomenal. And there are certain things I want.