It feels awesome outside.

In an hour or so, I'm about to eat what will easily be the most expensive meal I have ever had. It will have been alive no more than eight hours before I order it to be cooked. It will most likely have lived in the sea at one point. Hopefully, this former sea-dwelling creature would have stood a good chance of killing me, should I have pursued it in its own element. Ideally, this will be, by no short measure, the best food I ever eaten. I'm terrified that the side dishes won't be as good as they should be. Let's hope this isn't an issue.

I think I would one day like to wrestle a dolphin. I'm 100% confident the dolphin would kick my ass, and I have no doubt I would emerge from this friendly match with no less than four broken ribs. I watched a documentary when I was little about dolphins and sharks, and apparently dolphins like to headbutt the shit out of some sharks. Now, I'd wager than I'm no more than half as tough as a shark, so if a dolphin headbutt makes a shark think, "Damn, that was some headbutt," (which was what the sharks were thinking --- I'm just going from their facial expressions of course...) I'm fairly confident that a dolphin headbutt would make me see God. Even so, I would like to think that after I confessed defeat to the dolphin we could share the dolphin version of a best-inter-species-friends-forever hug and maybe a can of chunked white albacore and then I would ride along side him, holding on to his fin as he swam into the sunset.

Sounds pretty badass, right? I know.

its called seasonal depression. sometimes it gets bad.

and im holding out until after friday, come hell or high water.

Bleh. It's Saturday. Sunday now. You know.

Tonight I was going to go see Where the Wild Things Are. Everyone is really excited about it. I read the book when I was little. I liked "Are You My Mommy", "Are You My Daddy", and "Go Tell it to the Tucan" more. Still, I wanted to see Spike Jonze at work. Either way, I didn't get to see it.

I wrote a song tonight, which I am less proud of with each growing moment, and I wasn't terribly proud of it to start with. I'm no Jesse Lacey. Not on paper.

I want to start drawing again, but I don't have any good things to draw from. If anyone wants to take their clothes off, I want to draw them. If anyone has pictures, I'd like to see them.

A Grasshopper lives in my basement. I'm not sure what he subsists on, but I'm growing accustomed to his face --- If grasshoppers have faces, I mean.

Suddenly I'm in an emo band. Not like new emo, with the mascara and the black suits. Like old emo, like Rites of Spring (sort of) or Sunny Day Real Estate (I suppose). I think I'm mostly in an emo band like Jesse Lacey. Except I'm not talented. I can be just as pissed about things as well as he can, though. From now on I'm only going to listen to Daisey and Daydream Nation. Practice telling me how deep I am.

My birthday is this week. Don't tell anyone, but I'm turning 20, and I think I may be inadvertantly investing a large percentage of my emotional well-being on this upcoming weekend going well. Fingers crossed.

I miss people I don't even know. I miss people I barely even remember. Christ.

I'm going to bed. I wish I was tired.

is it me or is it me --- that can't see silver linings?



ive got great friends.

Today I ran around the entire UofL campus.
Today I practiced playing music with my friends.
Today I got some new ideas for songs.
Today I ate Qdoba.
Today I saw Joel.
Today I talked to a friend about hypothetical physics and God over a Chai tea latte.
Today I saw a good friend, and hopefully will see him again soon.
Today I drove home at two in the morning, listening to jazz hip-hop.

Today was a good day.

i wanted to post a video of a song, but i dont know any good music.

Updates

I'm working on filling in my weekend. It's going alright. I think I'm going to blow some money on some Sega Genesis games at Book and Music Exchange. I think I can get a good deal, because I've been helping this guy who works there in our weight lifting class, and he alluded to hooking me up. This is pretty sweet.

Spongebob is on, which I enjoy. Even as a soon-to-be grown-ass-man, I still love watching Spongebob. This episode is the one where Mr. Krabs insists on building a wishing well, and then places Spongebob in the well to collect coins people will presumably throw into it. This is pretty sweet.

At work, I've been working on this "special project". This basically means I do work that I don't usually do, and get paid the same, and don't get any special recognition. On the up side, I get to work right next to a large refrigeration unit, which blows a nice breeze on me all night. This is pretty sweet.

I'm also listening to the new Austrian Death Machine album. It's called "Double Brutal" and is easily twice as brutal as "Total Brutal" was, which --- in case you couldn't tell, was Totally Brutal. This is also pretty sweet.

God, I fucking love fall weather.