bllleeeehhhh.

Sometimes I worry about things. I'm sure everyone does. That's pretty much a fact of life, I think; worrying. The thing that makes my worrying worse, I assume, is that when I worry about something, I convince myself that other people don't have to worry as much about it. Or that they have someone to bail them out. I convince myself that I don't.

It's what I'm good at.

Let's be melodramatic for a second.

Sometimes I feel like people don't know me. Most of the time I feel like that's by choice. No, I'm not sure who's choice it is. I'd like to think it's not mine, but maybe it is.

I'm something of a solipsist, but not seriously. It's my seventh grade teacher's fault. And it only happens when I'm just about to fall asleep.

Contracts, to me, feel like a death sentence. Every time I put my name on a contract, I feel like I give up a little bit of myself to someone else. I'm always scared I can't have it back.

I really want people important to my friends to like me. I generally like everyone, honestly.

My parents are very proud of my sister. My sister who is outstandingly average and does virtually nothing. I have a job, a car, and a college education, all of which I am responsible for, independently. This not only bothers, but confuses me.

I constantly feel like anything outside of my routine might be a mistake, and it may affect me later.

Sometimes I think I might be making these sort of feelings up, even though I know I'm not.

In college, I learned that if you see a computer monitor up to two hours before you try to sleep, you can't sleep deep enough to satisfy your body. Fuck technology, right?

this is the part where i say something to belittle my thoughts, and make myself seem less immature and petty, or some dumb shit like that. do me a favor -- pretend i was good at it.